We all have bad habits. You may bite your fingernails when you are stressed or grind your teeth at night. Maybe you just mumble when you speak. All of them are bad habits, but none of them affect anyone else but you.
Unfortunately, some bad habits affect our relationships. It’s even possible to see a lousy habit cause turmoil and end a marriage. But what habits can be so hard on couples?
No one wants an overly-controlling partner, especially when they demand the most from your relationship. Constant demands usually lead to significant strain on both partners; also, it’s troubling a sign of a deteriorating relationship.
If you want to avoid this, try to rephrase a command into a question or concern. For example, ask if your partner wants grilled chicken for dinner instead of demanding they eat a salad for their health.
Criticizing your spouse
Most of us like to tease our partners playfully, but there is a line between teasing and criticizing. Continually putting down your partner for their habits will only stress out your partner and potentially create negativity in your marriage. Find the line where you provide constructive feedback instead of harsh criticism.
Dictating their emotions
Only one person truly understands your feelings – you. The same is true for your spouse, so you cannot dictate how they should or what they do feel. For example, you can’t accuse your partner of “being upset” that you are late to dinner. Instead, ask them how they are feeling and listen to what they say. You may be right, or you could be completely wrong. You won’t know until you ask.
Jumping to conclusions
It’s like dictating emotions because you can’t jump to assumptions about what your spouse is doing or thinking. You need to communicate with them and check on what is going on. A great way to avoid jumping to conclusions is recognizing when it’s happening. If you find yourself thinking of a specific situation without evidence, you may be assuming something negative about your spouse.
Understanding how these habits are toxic is a significant first step to stopping them altogether. However, some marriages are just too far gone and need to end. Don’t feel like you have to stay in a marriage, especially if it’s harmful to your mental health.